When you’re in a relationship, it can be one big learning curve. You love them, sure, but suddenly you’ve got two people potentially raised completely differently, with some different and maybe conflicting ideas about some aspects of life.
This is what people mean when they say relationships take ‘work’. In my experience, that ‘work’ is mostly navigating these differences and, provided they aren’t deal-breakers, learning how to make life work for both of you.
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Today I’m sharing one thing that will completely change the way that you manage your personal money. For free. So listen up!
If you think about it, there are two types of expenditures that go through our personal account on a day to day basis.
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So many of us struggle to save money. We start the month with the best of intentions. ‘Right, no takeaways this month, that’ll save X amount.’ Or, you do manage to save, but BAM, the boiler breaks down, or your pet needs a trip to the vets and there’s those savings gone. Either of these sound familiar? Read on!
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If you follow me, are in my group, or subscribe to my newsletter, you may have noticed that I can get pretty passionate when it comes to helping people with their money. There are a few reasons.
We're not taught about money in a practical way at school. It would be really useful to teach us about money at an early stage, and I think that a lot of the fear and confusion around money comes from it not being part of our formal education. Where we lack knowledge and understanding, fear grows.
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I talk a lot about the stories we tell ourselves about money. These are the myths and mottos we absorb as kids, mostly from our parents but also from the world around us. While these stories can differ from one another, many of us seem to have an inherent understanding that money = survival. Whether that means that we feel the need to hoard it, endlessly chase more of it or never, ever talk about it, this belief that a loss of money essentially equates to death ultimately leads to a fear response.
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I have, over the years, worked with so many business owners that have been swept up in the 'usual' business pattern of growth.
Grow the business, sell more, that's what success looks like, right?
But does it? Does it really? Does it for YOU?
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Over the last few months, many of us have been moving in and out of a fear response on a regular basis. When you turn on the news, or speak to a frightened friend, or head to a busy supermarket, that stress can trigger a fear response, which is ultimately about survival. Whether we think the corona-fear has been blown out of proportion or not, the response is totally understandable and at times needed to keep us safe. What is not needed however, is further perpetuation of fear when it comes to money. That’s what I want to write about today.
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Why it's so important to keep money flowing as the lifeblood of our communities.
We are in a time of uncertainty, share prices are falling, businesses are closing, there is talk of economic collapse and recessions. All of these things breed fear. Someone described it today saying ‘it feels like someone pulled the plug and all the money is disappearing down a plug hole’
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Do you believe that Anything is Possible? I do - let me tell you why.
Our brains, clever as they are, work based on the inputs that they have received from the past. Our brains also try to predict the future for us, in order to keep us safe. Can you guess what they are using in order to predict the future? Yep, you guessed it - it's the past.
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Hey there!
This is a topic that I get asked about ALL the time. How do I find a great accountant?
It slots in nicely to the topic of communication, which is always such a big one when it comes to money. Ultimately having a productive relationship with your accountant is all about communication.
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Is it me or does it feel like we are having a sprint finish towards the end of 2019? Life seems to have sped up! I don't know if it is because here in the UK we have had a general election squeezed into December, but life doesn't quite feel like my usual slow down into the Christmas holidays.
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Yep, I did it, I mentioned Christmas! That time of year when we spend loads of money on things that people don’t want and need to try and show them that we love them.
Okay maybe that’s a bit harsh but I’m betting that you’ve experienced either spending too much or receiving loads of unwanted gifts at some point in your life. Those of you with kids are probably already drawing up the plans for the extension to house all the new stuff they’ll get this year.
Budgeting and money tracking apps - yes they are all the rage and if you love them go for it, but in my opinion the simpler you can keep it the better, and here’s why.
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I'll be honest - I used to think that personality types were a load of crap but I realised that I'd made that decision when I read somewhere that my type ENFP can be selfish. Me selfish - imagine the indignation I had about that - that was it if they are wrong about me (which clearly they were) they must be wrong about everyone.
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The alarm goes off, you open your eyes and the first thought that crosses your mind is ‘I didn’t get enough sleep.’ You get up, shower, and get dressed, maybe if you didn’t oversleep you have a moment to grab breakfast before you start to think about your day. Then another thought crosses your mind; ‘there isn’t enough time.’
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Lisa Fisher is a mediator, conflict coach, Yoga teacher and Black Belt in Kenpo Karate. She is on a mission to make the world a more peaceful and harmonious place, one difficult conversation at a time. You can find her at https://blackbeltbuddha.com. For more mind-body tools to speak up in a way that is both badass and kind, go here.
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I’m pretty sure I say this a lot but I think it bears repeating – I believe that wealth is a feeling and not a number.
What do I even mean by that?
For me the feeling of wealth (and yes for the purists out there I realise that wealth isn’t technically a feeling – but bear with me) is that feeling when you have everything that you need in that moment. Not forever – not for the rest of your life but right in the present moment.
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In Week 1 of the Finding Your Balance program, we look at the stories we tell ourselves about money. These stories can hold us back, contribute to spenders guilt or, funnily enough, help us to save (‘It doesn’t grow on trees y’know!’)
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