The Money Stories We Tell Ourselves
In order to move forward, we kind of need to get to grips with where we’ve come from right? It’s no different when it comes to money. In Week One of the Finding Your Balance program, we look at the stories we tell ourselves about money. So what do I mean by ‘stories’, and how might understanding them help us to get our finances in order?
What are ‘Money Stories’?
Money stories are the stories that we have told ourselves so often that they have become a belief. Our beliefs underpin all the actions that we take, or choose not to take, and are pretty much running our lives (often hidden from our view). The thing is - not only do you believe these stories - you act as if they are true!
Where do they come from?
All of our stories come from the past - from our parents, friends, education, the media, our community and from our own life experiences. Once we start to form a belief we run around like Inspector Clouseau finding all the evidence that we can to prove that we are right!
I imagine that, like me, you can remember many phrases about money that the adults around you used when you were growing up, particularly your parents (probably when you were nagging about something). Funny little things like 'Money doesn't grow on trees you know!' or one from my mum 'You can't take it with you when you’re gone'.
Take a moment to think about all the things that you heard about money as a child. You could even grab a notebook and start scribbling - especially if you find your mind goes blank. Start writing and see what comes up.
Maybe you even hear yourself saying these things now. I think as I get older I often open my mouth and my mum’s voice comes out!
Now think about how your parents were with money, were they savers, spenders, bargain hunters? Did they manage money well? Was it a source of arguments? (Don't be getting all judgy here - remember its likely that, like you, all they had to go off was their parents!)
And now what about you? How are you now with money, what patterns do you have? Taking a step back can you see any similarities between what you heard and saw as a child and how you are with money now. I'm going to take a guess that you are either some combination of your parents or in an attempt to avoid that - you are the exact opposite!
How can understanding our stories make a difference?
Once you shine a light on your stories, you have achieved a really important step - awareness. Now you know that there’s something going on, something in your belief system that could be getting in the way of your freedom. The good news is that our beliefs are just that, beliefs - they are not the truth. Let me say that once more - your beliefs are not the truth!
Once you notice that you have a belief it’s really worth taking some time to explore it and even look for evidence that it is not true. Think about what you would you like to believe instead, what would be empowering?
If this blog has made you think more about understanding your finances, let’s arrange a no-obligation call to talk about whether the Finding Your Balance program could be for you! Click here to learn more.
Hi there I’m Gail Bainbridge - money coach and mentor. I am on a mission to transform our relationships with money. I teach people to find money that they didn’t know they had for the things that are important to them. If you enjoyed this blog sign up to my newsletter to be the first to read all my money musings.